I wonder why so many artists have such similar styles. Yeah, it may be pretty. Yeah, they may all do it well. But where the hell has originality gone? I am no longer shocked by cute things with blood on them. I am no longer shocked by squiggles and purposefully ugly drawings. I am no longer fascinated by your filtered pretty pictures that all end up looking the same. I am even made sick to my stomach by anime, which I once loved. This is probably why I have not even tried doing anything of my own in such a long time, why I'm not inspired at all, why sometimes I hate art. Most people just mechanically reproduce, copy with slightly different eyelashes and a different color. Sure, the times influence us all, but must they influence us all in the same way? I don't want to do art if it's not bringing anything new. I don't want to just be able to render well. If your style reminds me of Johnny's style, if your pictures look like Sandy's pictures, it'll slowly just fade into a faceless blob of same in my head. Maybe that's why I find figure drawing and still life refreshing, they are not pretending to be anything it's not. They are not pretentious. They are not saying: hey, look at me, I didn't draw this from life, I must be a hell of a creative mother fucker. I am so happy every time I see something that truly makes me feel and think something other than: This is kinda like such and such's thingy over there. I have completely fallen in love with the "lesser" arts, with utilitarian art, with design, for this reason. Good design shocks me, it usually makes me think: What the fuck were you thinking when you came up with that mug/dress/house? Aren't you just an amazing human being with a great mind? I really commend those artists who actually do their own thing, have their own style. And to those who don't, well, I guess I'm no one to say shit about what you do. If it makes you happy, then do it. If it makes others happy, then spread it. You do more than I do, right? I mean, many could argue that doing art, even if very influenced by others' style, is better than giving up art because you can't find something original and shocking enough to express. But I am doing what is right for me, because if I could never forgive myself for putting stuff out there, even if only three people see it, if it isn't adding anything truly new to the world. I'll just close my eyes and sigh next time I encounter boring sameness, and keep my mouth shut. But I do hope everyone finds their own voice in the end and reproduction is replaced by production. Someday even I might find it and start creating again.

P.S. Why is it when this happens in music or movies or books or tv shows, people are outraged, but when it's art, holy, untouchable, I can't criticize it because it's subjective and not commercial, art, people stay mute? If anything, it should be more outrageous, more depressing. It should be considered more of an illness, because it is.